Home | Family And Pets Articles
Divorce can leave us overwhelmed with emotion and all of the changes that suddenly occur. One of the strongest emotions that divorcees frequently have to contend with is loneliness. Even if you were the one who initiated the divorce, there may be times when you feel lonely. You've spent the last few years as a member of a couple. Now you're going solo. It's really important to learn to accept this loneliness rather than just slap the band-aid of a new relationship over it. Being in a relationship because you choose to be in order to enhance your life rather than fulfill it should be your goal if you hope to remarry well. Today, let's focus on the best ways to get beyond that loneliness. Doing this well help you feel more in control over the choice to be in a future relationship because you want to be rather than because you don't want to be alone. 1. Find support One of the best recommendations I can make to people who are newly divorced is to join a divorce group. A great one is DivorceCare. These groups allow you the opportunity to learn that you are not alone and to understand that your feelings are normal. Another good support is your friends. They love you and want to be there for you. Now is NOT the time to withdraw and shut them out. 2. Make new friends who identify you as single, rather than _____'s ex-spouse You want to surround yourself with people who like you for who you are. I'm not suggesting dropping all of your old friends. Just be careful to not discuss your ex with those old friends. It might be tempting to gossip about him/her and hear how they are doing. The problem with that is that it holds you back. Your focus in NOT on your current life or your future; it's still on your past. 3. Plan fun activities when the kids are away Don't sit around in mourning when your children have their parenting time with your ex-spouse. Adjusting to this new time schedule can be difficult. Try to see things with a more positive perspective. Your kids get to have one on one time with their other parent. You get to have time just for yourself. You don't have to play mommy or daddy during that time. You get to just be you. So use it well. Pamper yourself. Don't cram all of the week's chores that didn't get done in that time. Yes, there may be some responsibilities that have to be taken care of, but don't make that the main focus. 4. Pursue new hobbies What are those things you've always wished you had time to do? What are those activities you've always thought would be fun to do? How can you begin to budget your time and finances to try some new things? Learning to like who you are is the key; to be comfortable with your new life. Then, and only then are able to find a healthy relationship that's not just a replacement for the spouse you no longer have. That new person becomes a healthy addition rather than a desperate time filler. If your goal is to achieve a remarriage success, then the process begins with you personally, before a new relationship ever occurs.
Article Source: http://www.phalenes.org/articles
If you'd like more great resources to help you prepare for your remarriage and step family, I invite you to visit us at www.RemarriageSuccess.com . There you will find article archives, forums, tips of the week, resources and other sites that will get you on your way toward your very own remarriage success! If you enjoyed this article, why not receive a few every Friday with our Tip of the Week? I encourage you to get all the details at www.RemarriageSuccess.com/tip.htm today.
Please Rate this Article
5 out of 54 out of 53 out of 52 out of 51 out of 5
Not yet Rated
